Live your ‘Why’

Hi everyone. Hope you’re all well today.

As most of you know, I joined weightwatchers back in May to start losing weight. Fourth time lucky! So far things are going well, and as I’m writing this, I have lost 25.5lb. This is the most that I have ever lost during Weightwatchers. Now if you’re unfamiliar with how a class session goes in Weightwatchers, you get weighed and purchase any bits and bobs from the shop, and pick up your weekly recipe cards. The recipe cards also have the theme for the week. And once everyone is weighed, your coach then discusses how well everyone has done and asks if anyone wants to share anything. She then discusses the theme with us. This theme will be the same no matter which class you go to.

I find that the talks really help. Lorna, my coach, is absolutely lovely and really helps everyone stay motivated. If you’re struggling, she’ll always offer advise, and she won’t judge you if you have gained weight one week. She’s such a lovely person.

On the day that I’m writing this, the talk was around why we joined. For almost everyone there, the main reason is to lose weight. But there will be a major motivation as to why we want to lose this weight.  Things got quite heavy in Weightwatchers this day; there were a lot of tears from a fair few of us, and it was quite nice to see how many of us had similar reasons for wanting to lose weight.

I’d never really shared the reason why I joined with my class, and I have shared parts on this blog in the past. And today made me realise that I am ready to share that reason. I apologise in advance if anyone finds it triggering.

I joined weightwatchers after my breakup. It wasn’t a healthy relationship and I felt psychologically drained and at an all-time low in those last few months. I won’t go into details, but I was made to feel useless, paranoid and ugly. I would be compared to other women quite a lot and my hobbies were seen as stupid. I was alienated from a lot of my friends and family because he didn’t like them; but blood is thicker than water and he couldn’t fully sever those connections. I was really unhappy, and when he broke up with me (probably because I was starting to stand up to him, and he knew that he couldn’t stop me seeing people who cared about me). However, even though I felt better for it ending, I was still left with a lot of emotional baggage.

I wanted to regain my confidence and feel like a gorgeous, sexy woman again.

My anxiety was also back in full force, partly because part of me wondered if he’d try and come back for me (I was terrified of this happening), and I couldn’t deal with doing anything wrong. I felt useless.

So I joined weightwatchers. My Mam has been going for years, and is a gold member, but she wanted me to find my own class and build up my own support network away from her. I did find that this helped as I felt more confident speaking about things that I wouldn’t always be comfortable saying in front of my Mam. However, as time has gone on, I have joined her during her class sometimes. We both have Lorna as a coach, which helps.

Well, 6 months on, I’m a long way away from that scared, emotional wreak of a woman who needed to move back in with her family. I am a lot more confident, and I feel beautiful. Yes, I have a long way to go, and there are probably some things that will never go away, but I am feeling so much better in myself. And I put that down to the amazing support network that I have which includes Weightwatchers, my family, friends and Aaptiv. I have met so many amazing people on this journey. And I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

If you feel comfortable, what was your why for wanting to change something?

Have a lovely day guys, and take care.


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