Since it’s coming up to (or may have passed, depending on when I post this) Valentines Day, I wanted to post something for all of us single gals out there, who don’t have dates for this holiday.
Last year, as some of you know, I was in a really unhappy relationship and on Valentines Day I had to buy my own Valentine’s day gift (with his money), and I didn’t get a card. Being the loving girlfriend I was, he got a nice gift and a card, but that’s beyond the point. A holiday devoted to love kinda loses it’s charm when the love is one-sided!
When my relationship ended, I decided to devote the remainder of the year, maybe longer into loving myself. My anxiety and relationship had left me with a very negative view of myself
You’re bloody useless
You’re fat! You’re ugly!
Fat, ugly whore!
You couldn’t hold a man’s attentions very long, could you?
It’s your fault
Why bother doing anything?
Useless! Useless! Ugly, ugly, ugly! Stupid!
Sometimes I still have these thoughts. They like to gnaw their way into my conscience when I least expect them. But time is a good heeler, and they’re getting less frequent.
So this Valentine’s Day, I have no dates with a tall dark handsome stranger. I’ve got a date with a short, gorgeous blonde girl called Jennifer….. me!
A fair few years ago gave me some advise, which I didn’t really pay much attention to back then. It only made sense in the last year.
You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you.
Like many of us, I can have negative thoughts about myself and do myself down. However, I made a deal with myself after the breakup to start loving myself. To start thinking of one thing that I loved about myself each day. It was hard at first, but it’s gotten easier over time.
You’re useless has become You’re really good at makeup.
Fat, ugly whore has become Curvaceous, beautiful woman.
Okay, I’ve probably picked the cheesiest ones, but you get the idea. I have found positivity in my ugliest moments to help me come to terms with every part of myself. It has taken some time, but I am starting to love myself again.
So this year, I am happy being single. I don’t feel any regrets about not having a man in my life; and that’s not because I secretly want my ex back, or feel undeserving of love; I feel content just being single. And that’s okay. I am truly happy being on my own, and I’m looking forward to spending Valentine’s Day on my own.
So whatever you’re doing this Valentine’s Day, I hope that you’re just as happy as I am, and have a fab day; whether you’re with someone, or single.
Have a lovely day enveryone, and take care.
I love you all.